Why people undervalue staying at home with your children.

I have two degrees, spent 8 years in the real world work force in lovely corporate america, and then was hit with three major life changes in 2 years - marriage, birth and cancer.

While it was no cake walk, I have become a much stronger person. During my engagement and up until my latest birth (3/4 years) my husband traveled extensively - like for months at a time. I took over all finances - and I mean ALL, I did all housework, I cared for our child(ren) and managed to come out of this entire fast paced life quite ahead IMHO. I thoroughly enjoy being a SAHM (most days ;) and feel that I am truly running a business. How many people do you know on call 24/7, caring for others, preparing meals, being a maid, doing all daily finances and financial planning all the while trying to start up two businesses? No ladies and gents, these businesses are not just a fly by night idea, they have been in the works for 3+ years now. I have put careful thought and planning into both of them. I am just now financially able to afford the start up costs.

Why, you ask, am I discussing this? Well, hubby and i went to a football game and tailgated with a friend of my sisters. This friend has a father whom is a lawyer (so is he) and his mother was a SAHM and still is. I am only assuming she hasn't done much else with her life - after observing the boys around her.

Anyway, whlie sisster and her friend were introducing themselves to the dad, the dad was totally interested - asking tons of questions, engaging into conversations with them and then the dad then turned to hubby and asked him what he does, and he has a corporate job. Talked to him about the job as he had and still has some interesting stories. And then turned to me - and I said proudly I am a SAHM and I am starting up a business. I swear to god it was like I farted out loud. "Oh" and then looked down and proceeded to talk to everyone else.

WHAT THE FUCK. Dear Mr. ~ Just because I do everything YOU DON'T doesn't mean that you can belittle my job. And yes, Mr, it is a job. Just as much as your job is to you. Just b/c I am a SAHM, doesn't mean I do not have an education, doesn't mean that I have no interests, doesn't mean that I cannot be eloquent when necessary, and sure as hell doesn't mean that I DON'T FUCKING COUNT. So you can stick your lawyer job UP YOUR ASS and the next time we encounter each other, I WILL NOT be as nice and politically correct as I was this last time.

WAIT!!! Shhhhh...Did you hear that?!?!

SILENCE. then laughter and giggles and - OH MY GOD, they are playing together!! I have been dreaming of this day for 7 months. The day that my kids would totally get along and play with each other as if they were long lost friends.

It has finally come, and now my sanity has a chance of returning.

Happy Monday!

This weekend was trying and tiring. But the good news? We only have two more weeks of daddy being completely swamped at work, adn then he is taking some time for US! :) We are so excited. Well, okay, maybe I am just excited b/c I am the only one who "gets" it.

So I am taking the kids to the zoo today. I have GOT to get her out of the house. I feel so bad as a parent that we can't get her outside living in a condo and all. *insert angry face here* anyway, she needs to go run, and look at things, so I am going to bring my camera, dress the kids really cute and go to the zoo and take some time today taking photos. My photography hasn't been so hot lately, and I need some practice - what better practice than on my kiddos while they are making themselves tired?!? LOL

I woke up with a scratch in my throat - and my chest is heavy. Translation? Bronchitis by the end of the week. I HATE radiation and chemo. But mostly radiation that killed all the living good cells in my throat and chest.

I lied.

I am just going to post here. I have nothing to hide, and the truth? well, if people don't like the truth, then they shouldn't read on.

I have had a lot going on the past few weeks. Namely my youngest crawling around screaming and crying 24x7. I don't know how to handle this. My other one is out of sorts b/c hubby is working from 7/8 am until 10pm at night. And she is getting on everyone's nerves.

So here I sit, lil one crawling closer, freaking out, and the other one banging anything she can to annoy everyone. We are going to get out of the house, but the only good getting out of the house does is let the lil one sleep in the car, which does NOT help me.

Why can't she leave him alone? I feel like such a failure of a mom. I feel like both my kids don't like me, I can't keep up with our house - I just want to throw everything away and move. My head hurts so bad today I can't even see. And no, mrs. jack and glory it wasn't from last night LOL!!! :)

And I am bummed. I took photos of the kids this morning in their costumes, and they turned out like crap. Pure. Utter. Crap. I have to adjust every single one in photoshop, and I HATE doing that. Why not do them over? Well, b/c they were completely uncooperative to begin with, so doing them over would only stress me out more.

And lastly, my mom's board. I have been so down about it lately and haven't been sharing anything personal on there b/c I just can't anymore. I am sad at the private messages being sent from member to member and I got blamed over IM for telling another member things that I didn't even tell her. I talked to that person and turns out that I, apparently, was the ONLY one who didn't say something to her. Which 1) made me feel better well knowing that I didn't say anything and 2) pissed me off b/c I KNEW it wasn't me, yet that person seriously thought it was.

I am over it. I like people. I do seriously like people. BUT... and this is a HUGE BUT....I have enough drama and shit in my life. I just cannot keep up with high maintenance people. I am in my own funk at home, and no one to talk to about it - thus why I just decided to start blogging again. This seems to be such a great release for me. So there you have it in a nutshell. I am looking to install something on a server where I can post pics. I don't feel safe posting pics of my kiddos here for you nice few peeps that see this :) but I will figure something out. Hubby said he is going to set up a server in one of his colo's, and install anything I want. WOOOHOO!! So then we can password protect everything and that will make me happy.

Anyhoo - that's all for now folks.