i am going to stop blogging

So it might be a coincidence, but maybe not. but every time I blog, I read other people's blogs and their blogs reflect some things I write in here. I am not comfortable with this anymore. I might start blogging again, but in a much safer zone. If you want to be notified when I start my new blog, just post here and i will email you when it is up. Be forewarned, you will most likely have to log in to view the blog.

wow.

well, that isn't a good title, but i have so much going on and my brain feels like it is going to explode. and my children are reflecting my mood, so i need to change it ASAP.

This post is titled wow becuase i am in absolute AWE of the crazy and just uncomprehensable things going on in my life right now.

First off is the shooting at a highscool by a retard who was a transient. had NO ties to the school or anyone there. VIOLATED the girls sexually. just makes me sick.

my kids. they are going nuts and reflecting my moods. this. must. stop. now. (on my part btw)

drug dealers. i mean, why are there people out there? no i am not naieve, well, somewhat, but i am NOT an idiot and was NOT born yesterday.

fundraisers/starting up a new volunteer group - well my sis and i decided to start a fundraising arm for a local chapter of a cancer foundation. i am very excited, however this takes up some time. but it is very important to me as i am a survivor and NEED to give back to the community in this way.

i have about maybe 10-15 blogs that i read and keep up with. while i don't blog as much as the others or as well as others, i do read them to keep up. but out of these 10-15, about 2-3 have started posting posts under a password. now, what is blog ettiquete? do i ask for the password? B/c in my mind, if they wanted me to read it, they would have given me the password right? Which brings me to another point - these 2-3 bloggers I see IRL. And our relationships have dwindled.....coincidence? I cannot stop from thinking that they are bitching about me. So, i have too much going on in my life to allow me to get close to anyone like this. I shouldn't have to feel like I am in highschool. I shouldn't have to always walk on eggshells around people and I definitely shouldn't feel like I have to proove myself as a friend.

i guess the title "wow" comes in as i don't understand treating someone like this. i just don't.

Edited: I don't understand most of the above, not just the blog stuff - as that's how it came across once I re-read. I don't understand the senseless shootings, the rapes, the massive amounts of drugs, I just don't get it. I found myself having to censor the tv as lil miss has been asking questions about schools on tv. that's all i need is for a toddler to be afraid of school.

CRAZINESS!!

Life has been insanely crazy lately. We do a lot, I just can't tell you what I do. BUT here are some updates;

Last week we took my mom, and my grandma to the zoo. My mom made my grandma get a wheel chair as she has a bad back. My grandma was hesitant, but did so anyway and had a blast!! My lil bug rode on her lap and my poor mom pushed them up and down the mildly hilly way. We all rode the carousel and had a wonderful day we will never forget.

This week has been nuts, and it is Wednesday!! (And I am lucky to even know it is Wednesday!) I worked crazy mad this past weekend to get my online store up and running. I am hoping to launch it on October 1, so we will see. I am torn on a cc processor, and just that alone is driving me mad trying to figure this junk out. Sometimes I wish there wasn't this many choices in life. I wish you could just say, I need a credit card processor, and have something poof up with the best rate. Yea, it is a dream :)

Overall, things are wonderful in our household. My marriage hasn't ever been better, the kids, well, they are kids but I love them so!!

Hope you are all doing well too!!

update on life

i am so not in the mood for anything thse days.

i totally screwed up a fundraiser that we are having. i put the wrong invites in the envelopes - great - they didn't have my parents address on them so now no one knows where to go for the fundraiser. Nice. stoopid lisa. my mom calls to inform me of this and then offers no help, other than to tell me that i have too much going on and i need to pick something to do and cut out the rest.

your right mom. right now i have no clients, and just two kids that i am running around trying to keep up with. oh, and btw, you and my sister were supposed to help me with this fundraiser b/c it is a TEAM event - not i do this by myself event. nice. so, the fundraiser is in two weeks, and well we probably won't have a huge turnout, if any.

my business website still isn't up, and at this rate it will probably never be up. hubby doesn't come home until 7 pm every night, leaving before 7 am every day. that leavs me with um....NO time to do anything with the site as i am thoroughly exhausted by the end of the evening. i just want to curl up in a ball and cry. i am seriously not sure this sahm thing is for me, yet getting a real job sends me into an anxiety attack. i hope i am not the only one out there that feels like this.

i seriously blame a lot of this on chemo. i was NEVER this absent minded before chemo. i seriously think chemo changed my brain structure. I can't remember simple things and keep screwing up things that matter. ugh. this stoopidness has got to stop. :(