I miss my hubby.

Good News: he comes home in 17 days.
Bad News: he comes home in 17 days.

Thank god it is soon, I miss him dearly.

Turning points.

I have decided that turning 30 is a turning point in your life. You are no longer 'young' but you aren't 'old' either. It is kind of like limbo. It's like you have been around long enough to know how to treat others, but not long enough to be completely respected. It is weird, I can't explain it. For the first time in my life, I am finding it hard to meet and get to know other people. Personally, I think it is b/c I have a hard time clicking with people anymore. Once you have a child, your focus changes, which it should....sort of.

I am finding that I am questioning my thoughts and beliefs and I really shouldn't be. Others are challenging them, and I have to remember that I was brought up differently than person X and Z, but I guess I just have been dissappointed by multiple people this week and it is starting to wear on me. Funny, I feel like I am the only one who feels this way. Maybe people go through this in spurts, who knows. No one really talks about this crap.

It isn't the holidays, it isn't the pregnancy, I firmly believe it has to do with society and the I'm out for me mentality. More often than not, I am finding my jaw drop at people's comments. It is amazing what you can see when you take a step back and listen more than you talk.

A good job came up and I was tempted to apply for it, that lasted 30 seconds. I am just not ready to go back into the corporate world. For some reason, I am not feeling strong enough to deal with the bullshit that comes with the very lovely salary (which would more than cover daycare expenses for two children)

I am exhausted. Going to the rents house tomorrow to help cook - I can bet you a million dollars that i will get there at 8 am and my mom will have 95% of everything done and/or in the oven. That's just how she is. She was goign to set the table tonight for 13 people - when she knows that my sister and i will be there tomorrow morning. She just gets crazy and it is ok - we have learned to love her craziness :)

Happy Turkey Day Everyone! - and to those of you who are not Americans, Happy Thursday! LOL.

Lessons Learned.

I haven't blogged in awhile, so I thought I would post an update (not that many people read this, but just because :)

Em has gotten better, and we have been super busy! I have no clue why I feel that I can't catch up, but that seems to be the case! Business is flowing WONDERFULLY, family life is going well (other than dh isn't around, but he does come home in a few weeks!!) and I couldn't ask for more.

I learned another lesson about myself/life this week - It is dissappointing when someone treats you in a way that you would never treat them. I know that we are al different and my way isn't always right, but it is still dissappointing when this happens to you. I am pretty sure that my hormones have gotten the best of me, I have apologized to those whom I have offended (and sincerely meant it), but still can't help but feel bad. I believe in what I said to those 2 individuals (2 individuals not related in any way) but for some reason I can't help but feel dissappointed in myself. I am not the type of person to react in the same manner as someone acted towards me, and yet I found myself responding this way twice last week. I am thinking this is my goal for the rest of the pregnancy - I have to keep things to myself until I can respond as I would normally, not react like I did.


So, shame on me. I *swear* I won't do this again while pregnant.

Poor pumpkin has a fever!

she has been getting up every single night since dh left for his trip. my mom says that she thinks that she is worried that either i will leave or just worried about me in general. i think she is just worried that i have a huge bed and no one to share it with! lol. i put her in bed with me late last night and put her baby in my hubby's spot. i asked her to move over there and she wouldn't - "no, daddy". poor girlie! She must think that he comes home in the middle of the night and then leaves when she is still sleeping. anyway, she woke up at 4:30 AM with a fever of 101.2 - i feel so bad for her when she has no other signs of being sick. today she is just laying around on teh couch loving the disney channel - which is a good thing b/c our remote control is broke and we cannot change the channel until monday morning when i go to get it replaced. lol - it could be worse - could be stuck on CNN or HNN or food tv. at least disney channel will keep her happy!

on a side note, i am feeling well. i had my blood levels checked, and they are normal so i am not at a high(er) risk for a blood clot, heart attack or stroke. apparently mthfr patients have a high rate of miscarriages in all trimesters. i firmly believe in the power of positive thinking (who can't after going through cancer) and also believe that a mother knows when something is wrong or will go wrong. i have not had one bad thought about this pregnancy - and technically i am over 1/2 way there since this baby will meet us at 37 weeks and not 40. so keep praying for the baby. :)

off to do the neverending loads of laundry!! lol.