okie dokie.

so i know that this is a sad tail of a diary, but it is closed to the public for a reason. there isn't any fun stuff in here.

so here's the deal - my day sucked. BEYOND sucked.

it started out with e waking up on the ABSOLUTE wrong side of the bed. whining and crying - CRYING and more crying the entire day. i heard v scream once, didn't think much of it, until lunch when i saw a ring of teeth on his left hand.

nice.

then i witnessed her going to bit him - her reasoning? he is pulling my hair and hurting me so i will show him! nice :(

then off to the rat race today - and i really felt it. I have two businesses and just do not think i will be able to survive if i have to deliver every single order. i just can't handle it. and from now on, it's a $25.00 delivery fee for shirts or I mail it.

and then, my parents. i love them because i haev to right now. but i am seriously almost in tears. actually, i am in tears. they are so difficult sometimes and yet they are my parents.

i think my dad is annoyed that my kids are there twice a week. like i am not running a legit business (i have made 2,500 to date, and that is like everything i have made in 5 years in 1 quarter)

we have ants. i mean lots o ants.

the hoa is being a PITA and that is putting it lightly, but i got in a pissing match with them, resigned as president and one old biddy KEPT SENDING ME EMAILS even after i requested that they either communicate with me through REL or by ccin'g other people. i want records of how shitty they are treating me for the lawyer.

what is wrong with me? it's like i need an attitude adjustment. i am positive the mom's board that i belong to is tired of hearing me bitch - and it seems as if it has been constant lately.

you know, maybe this boils down to i had no clue that kids would do this to my spiritual being and my marriage and my esteem and my physical appearance, and my patience and , etc. etc, etc.

i feel rotten for thinking this, but man, i am having a hard time today. and i just need a break.

Fund Raising is hard work.

Last night we had a fund raiser for my sister - and it was a cookie lee party. I have been doing some soul searching and have found that cookie lee isn't for me. they have a HUGE Profit on their products (50%!!) and it is good stuff, but man, I just can't take 8 hours out of my day with my kids to do this. At least with my design stuff, I can be on the floor with them designing things and photography only takes two hours (at most) so I think I am going to have to make a decision for my family and for me.

So, you ask, what's so hard about this? Well, my upline is a good friend from high school - she will be disappointed in me, and well - disappointment is the WORST thing ever (IMHO) but as a mom, she must understand that i have other means of bringing in money that are 1 - more lucrative and 2 - less time away from the home.

With that being said, we raised $300 for my sister last night, which rocks. I am very happy about that.

and today I am just blah - I think some of my friends snuck off to the zoo today and I wasn't invited so i will sit around and sulk all day LOL. I have things to do, but getting out with the kids would have been nice.

I have to get the checks cashed, and then I also have to go to the discount bakery - a friend of mine posted on the board about this - and I totally forgot about those places. Well, we got some very expensive bread for 1/2 off - which ROCKS and it was fresh stuff too. What a way to save money!! :) now we can eat whole oat breads for the cost of the cheap shit i have been buying.

oh, and did i mention that my lil boy has devil horns lately!?!? He is soo damn funny. so i am sitting here typing, and there is a phone in my lap. he is trying to sneakily grab the phone while staring at me in the eyes hoping I won't notice, all the while he is smiling at me with this devilish grin - LMAO and now he went to sit on his sister's lap - how freakin cute!!!

Okay, that's enough rambling for me today. Enjoy the weather!!

I know that everyone has their bad days....

but man. I feel like some sort of mpd person lately - i am happy with my life. period. i am not happy with some tiny aspects of it -

1 - the house. the house must go. sold, rented, burned, it must go. ;)
2 - my belly. my beautiful son stretched my belly from here to ireland. it is huge, flabby and now just FAT. I have been trying to do somethign about it, but i am quite unsuccessful at this at this point in my life. I seriously think i would be much happier with a slightly flatter tummy. (as i say typing instead of doing pilates)

Really that's all that's on my mind today - but the tummy thing, it's like having a ball and chain stuck to me 24/7. i wish my body responded to exercise and diet right now, (and see, a shrink would laugh at me b/c they would say, you must let go of the anger you have for having cancer)

maybe i will just go for acupuncture and hope it will help :)

crazy busy!

WOW - where does the time go? I have been UBER busy and don't even know what I have been busy with. Is that bad?

Let's see.....getting a site together for my sister's raffle, that has taken a ton of time up b/c i have NO FREAKIN CLUE how to get the stupid paypal button to work. The damn thing keeps jacking up. I am not happy with it, and have hubby taking a look at it.

i have fewer hours to be online these days, it makes me sad, but then makes me very happy b/c my business is rockin, so that means less time on the internet and with kiddos. While i am sad, i am also happy as this is allowing me to keep a part of ME and make me a better mom by keeping me happy inside.

Anyway, just a lil shout out today. hope everyone is well!