things shouldn't be this hard...
**warning** when i get upset, my thoughts usually don't come out coherent. So i apologize in advance for the sometimes random-ness of this post.
we decided to baptize our baby this weekend, pretty much last minute. and now all hell is breaking loose. my dad is upset, my dad's family isn't coming at all - well, haven't heard from his mom, but i seriously don't expect her to come - all because the baptism is at 1:30 (lasting a max of 1 hour for 4 kiddos to be baptized) and then my cousin is up for an award that means nothing really - it is a political award for best italian firefighter (*rolls eyes*) and that ceremony begins at 4 pm at mt. vernon country club.
so, if said family would come to baptism, they would have 1.5 hours to get to the club in the foothills - probably could get there from 80th and wads in about 45 minutes. I think there is AMPLE time for all to be accomplished that day.
well, dad's side of the family is small (two great aunts, their only spoiled sons in their 50's and 60's) and my grandma. oh, and cousins' son, and other cousins 3 kids and family, that's it (i say that b/c my mom's side is HUGE)
well, none of them are coming to the baptism - which is fine by me b/c i am tired of inviting people just because i have to. I really don't have a relationship with any of them. To me a relationship is a two way street - you call me and i call you - i don't even mind being the one that stops by on occasion b/c they are old (Great aunts in 80's) but none of this happens. I do call 1-2 times per month to check in and make sure they are still kickin', but i never get calls from them.
so, dad cancels his two seats at the ceremony to attend baptism. i really didn't want him to do this - there isn't goign to be many people at the baptism reception and probably won't even last 1 hour anyway. i am really upset about this b/c i went to their house for dinner and he totally yelled at me. said that there is no way that you can send out/call invitations to people 5 days before an event. i told him yes there is, and i had no expectations of people being able to come anyway. and made it clear to him that's why we wanted to talk to you guys about it this weekend in the mtns so that you could let us know if you could be there or not. and his response? 'isn't it a bit late for an invite?' not - i would really like to go to this ceremony. or can't you do it another weekend? this weekend is booking up fast. nada.
so we decided to do it this weekend. and now he is pissed at me. i am really upset as dad and i RARELY and i do mean rarely, fight. we usually see eye to eye.
well, apparently his mom called him and started yelling at him today b/c of me. and then she got snotty and said - well my sisters aren't invited - and dad called her bluff said i was trying to get a hold of them all day long and that their phone lines were busy. (side note here - i don't like my dad's mom too much she is not a nice person) anyway - I am seriously so upset I want to puke. I never get in a yelling match with my dad, but tonight I just couldn't let him sit there nad tell me that i was in the wrong for making a decision that was financially and the timing was better for us. Financially, we are sharing the party with my cousin, so we won't spend the amount of money that we would have if it were just our party and right now, that means a lot. NOt to mention, we are having the reception at a clubhouse and that means no one has to clean a house for 30 guests. we are ordering food, no one has to cook - it is all around a better deal for all.
i just don't get it. the birth of vin was overshadowed by an adult who acted like she was 2 and now his baptism is turing into something that won't even be good for me to remember because dad will be pouting and in a shitty mood and his family hates us (which really isn't new news) and that will just ruin it for me. actually, sunday is already ruined for me and it is only wednesday. i am so sad right now. i just want one event for my baby where it can be celebrated rather than just worrying about everyone else. I guess that can only happen with just the immediate family from here on out.
we decided to baptize our baby this weekend, pretty much last minute. and now all hell is breaking loose. my dad is upset, my dad's family isn't coming at all - well, haven't heard from his mom, but i seriously don't expect her to come - all because the baptism is at 1:30 (lasting a max of 1 hour for 4 kiddos to be baptized) and then my cousin is up for an award that means nothing really - it is a political award for best italian firefighter (*rolls eyes*) and that ceremony begins at 4 pm at mt. vernon country club.
so, if said family would come to baptism, they would have 1.5 hours to get to the club in the foothills - probably could get there from 80th and wads in about 45 minutes. I think there is AMPLE time for all to be accomplished that day.
well, dad's side of the family is small (two great aunts, their only spoiled sons in their 50's and 60's) and my grandma. oh, and cousins' son, and other cousins 3 kids and family, that's it (i say that b/c my mom's side is HUGE)
well, none of them are coming to the baptism - which is fine by me b/c i am tired of inviting people just because i have to. I really don't have a relationship with any of them. To me a relationship is a two way street - you call me and i call you - i don't even mind being the one that stops by on occasion b/c they are old (Great aunts in 80's) but none of this happens. I do call 1-2 times per month to check in and make sure they are still kickin', but i never get calls from them.
so, dad cancels his two seats at the ceremony to attend baptism. i really didn't want him to do this - there isn't goign to be many people at the baptism reception and probably won't even last 1 hour anyway. i am really upset about this b/c i went to their house for dinner and he totally yelled at me. said that there is no way that you can send out/call invitations to people 5 days before an event. i told him yes there is, and i had no expectations of people being able to come anyway. and made it clear to him that's why we wanted to talk to you guys about it this weekend in the mtns so that you could let us know if you could be there or not. and his response? 'isn't it a bit late for an invite?' not - i would really like to go to this ceremony. or can't you do it another weekend? this weekend is booking up fast. nada.
so we decided to do it this weekend. and now he is pissed at me. i am really upset as dad and i RARELY and i do mean rarely, fight. we usually see eye to eye.
well, apparently his mom called him and started yelling at him today b/c of me. and then she got snotty and said - well my sisters aren't invited - and dad called her bluff said i was trying to get a hold of them all day long and that their phone lines were busy. (side note here - i don't like my dad's mom too much she is not a nice person) anyway - I am seriously so upset I want to puke. I never get in a yelling match with my dad, but tonight I just couldn't let him sit there nad tell me that i was in the wrong for making a decision that was financially and the timing was better for us. Financially, we are sharing the party with my cousin, so we won't spend the amount of money that we would have if it were just our party and right now, that means a lot. NOt to mention, we are having the reception at a clubhouse and that means no one has to clean a house for 30 guests. we are ordering food, no one has to cook - it is all around a better deal for all.
i just don't get it. the birth of vin was overshadowed by an adult who acted like she was 2 and now his baptism is turing into something that won't even be good for me to remember because dad will be pouting and in a shitty mood and his family hates us (which really isn't new news) and that will just ruin it for me. actually, sunday is already ruined for me and it is only wednesday. i am so sad right now. i just want one event for my baby where it can be celebrated rather than just worrying about everyone else. I guess that can only happen with just the immediate family from here on out.
posted by curly @ 11:37 PM
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